


Domesticated Man

by Legs (InsanityRule)



Series: I came for the money I stayed for you [5]
Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4911898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule/pseuds/Legs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years in he never pictured them ever having a child.</p><p>Three years in, he's less opposed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Domesticated Man

Two years in he never pictured them ever having a child.

Three years in, he's less opposed.

The thing is, Jared's been more open about his foster care experiences. Some good, plenty bad, but he keeps coming back to one main point; he wishes he'd stayed in one place longer. And now that they're financially stable, open, and honest, it looks like Jared wants to provide that for a child. The moment he brought becoming foster parents up during dinner Richard stayed up way too late dredging up as much research as possible.

A room of their own? Easy. Jared and Richard crunch the numbers on their budget even though they know they can afford a bigger place, and within a couple months they're in a two bedroom down the hall from their first place. The second bedroom is very color neutral and inviting. Richard's fallen asleep on the rug in that room more than once. And then there's meetings, which Jared takes meticulous notes during and they're going to be the nerdiest set of foster parents ever but damn it they're not going to fuck this up. They pass the initial home visit with flying colors, (Richard is fairly certain Jared knows the friendly older woman that does the inspection but Jared doesn't say.) and just like that, they're approved to foster.

And then they wait.

Which Richard is totally okay with because this is probably the most terrifying thing he's ever done in his life.

They're both painfully young, not even thirty in Richard's case, and Richard is scared shitless. He's afraid of getting a teenager or a child because he is not going to be able to remain authoritative if he doesn't get to try and assert himself when a child is young and impressionable. Ten-year-olds have made him cry before and Erlich isn't around to defend him if it happens again.

When a baby girl is placed in their care a few months later he forgets about being scared of children. Her name is Marie and she's so fucking precious. All smiles, goofy faces, they're both overjoyed.

And then he's terrified because this is A BABY and he's responsible for literally everything she may need. And it's a girl and he just knows they're going to make her an antisocial house hermit. Richard's still struggling to not be that person on a daily basis. She doesn't have a chance.

But she's only seven months old now so maybe they'll figure out how to be social in the meantime. Yeah. It can't be that hard. They just need to meet some people that have children, or maybe get her into a nice daycare so she can play with other kids, and everything else is just whatever.

And see, Jared's already reading to her. "Marie this is a blue jay, common to the central and eastern United States-"

She's doomed.

-

He doesn't remember signing up for a marathon every single day.

She's crawling and while they did a damn fine job baby proofing their apartment she's still finding things to get into. Every time they put her down for a nap they intend to clean up the apartment, but every time they end up lying down on top of their bed and crashing hard until Marie's crying wakes them up. Being this tired again kind of sucks but Richard is really fond the way Jared gets cuddly as he's falling asleep, so it isn't a bad trade.

Richard remembers their pipe dream of getting Marie into a daycare. But two months have already gone by and she's still just hanging out with him or Jared during the day.

It isn't apathy though, quite the opposite, they're being very selective and checking all the available reviews on day cares with openings (And pining after the centers that don't.) and it's just a really difficult process. This isn't a new brand of toothpaste. These are the people that may be watching the child they've been entrusted to, you know, keep alive and healthy and happy, so it's kind of a big, anxiety inducing deal for Richard.

When Richard goes into the office, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he has the urge to call Jared and see how things are. And it has nothing to do with preferring the mostly quiet, fun filled days with a baby over stressful, high activity days of the office. But that might play a small role. Maybe.

He's about ready to give up on the paper he's been "reading" for the last hour and eat his lunch, something Jared made too much of and Richard is more than happy to eat the leftovers, when there's a knock on the door.

Great. "Come in." And in walks Jared, bright eyes (With that little crinkle at the corners because he's really happy.) and smiling with Marie strapped to his chest in one of those kangaroo pouch things. He looks pretty cute. "Um... Jared? What are you doing here?"

"Our internet is down for maintenance all afternoon and I couldn't get my work done." He's playing with Marie's curly hair. It's really adorable but also very distracting. Richard is very guilty of falling asleep while doing the exact same thing. "I thought about going to the library to use their wifi, but thought you might like a visit during lunch. I brought some day care brochures and thought we could go over them? And we need to work the cost into our budget."

Oh god take me now. Wait what. Ultra domestic is not the kink Richard thought he would have when he was still a naive teenager. It's just, he really loves Jared and his little organizer with the sticky tabs and labels and taking the time to calculate their interest and 401K plans. It's all very safe and domestic and predictable. He is so fond of a boring 9-5 job and paying bills every month and Jared right there beside him making dinner and working on his new little knitting hobby and Richard isn't sure when he mentally turned seventy but he's not all that upset about his ultra-vanilla lifestyle.

"Oh, well, that kind of sucks." Right, he can't seem to keep himself from swearing around Marie. It might be a problem later. "Well I was going to have lunch soon. We could go now."

"Excellent. Oh, I almost forgot, I think IKEA is having a sale on organizers. You mentioned wanting to get something for the laundry room to separate the soiled clothing by load type?"

Or he could convince someone to watch Marie while he makes out with Jared on his office couch.

Why is shelving turning him on so much?

-

Jared told him he was prepared for the inevitable mess Marie would make during lunch.

He might have been lying.

But in his defense he couldn't have known Marie would be this messy with her apple sauce. He has an extra outfit for her, but he didn't think to pack a spare pair of pants for himself. It's too funny not to laugh even though she thinks it's a game now, and Richard is in the middle of trying to get her to at least eat one more spoonful when someone clears their throat. He turns around and nods. "Oh, hey Carla."

"If I'd known it was bring your daughter to work day I would've brought my snake."

"Oh god please don't."

He's fine with reptiles. Bighead's got his ridiculous creep of tortoises he's slowly amassing over in fricken Berkeley, California. But a snake in the office probably means a snake secretly let loose in his office and he is not a fan, even though he knows it wouldn't be able to slither up his pant leg.

Jared, his savior, steps in. "It probably isn't work appropriate to have a snake here. There is the potential for phobias."

"Relax." She joins their table and leans back so only the back two legs are on the ground. "Still no day care huh?"

"Most of the highly rated facilities are currently at capacity."

And Richard is not comfortable with the idea of a nanny sitting around their home and having the opportunity to see something horribly incriminating in their bedroom. Marie just about got a hold of the blindfold when he was doing laundry and Richard nearly threw up into the laundry basket. He can see the tabloids (Because somehow they're important enough to have that be a potential problem? Unlikely but Richard's anxious and when that happens he's not always 100% reasonable about his fears. Who is?) and it makes him nauseated every time. "We're just being thorough."

"That's one word for it." He doesn't need Carla telling him they're overprotective. It's painfully obvious every time they use hand sanitizer or freak out when she tries to eat something off the floor. "What if we had a day care here? Big corporations do that all the time. I bet Hooli has one for pets."

They do. But Richard hasn't seen the tortoise room outside of photos from Bighead. Tiny Torts? Something like that. He's pretty sure Bighead spends most of his workday just sitting around in there.

"Well, it would only be Marie in there and... and we wanted her to, you know, be social." She really, really needs some outside help with that or Richard and Jared are going to end up isolating this poor girl with their antisocial tendencies. Although apparently Jared's birding group loved her, so she has plenty of grandparent type influence at least.

Perfect, they're going to end up making her like Jared.

That doesn't seem so bad really. Although Richard's sure Jared could do without the nightmares and other less fun aspects of his past. Richard could get behind a Jared minus the baggage.

"She wouldn't be the only one."

Richard shakes his head. What now? "Who... someone else has a kid?"

"Gilfoyle."

-

Richard crosses his arms and tries to look offended. No, not tries, he is offended, because what the fuck? Gilfoyle can't even tell them he has a kid?

Shit what if he doesn't have a kid? Carla's lied before.

Richard's in this awkward in between state of offended and fear of embarrassment, not a great place to be mentally, but he still finds himself walking up to Gilfoyle's desk and tapping on the partition.

Gilfoyle sits back and kicks his feet up. "What."

"What the fuck." And that was super vague and unclear. Good job. Richard frowns and tilts his head. "Um, you have a kid?"

"Says who?"

Shit she's just fucking with him. Great, he always falls for this stupid shit. He's just a Charlie Brown and Carla's Lucy. "Uh... Carla. She ssaid- but, but if it isn't true just forget it. I'll just-"

"How the hell did she find out?"

"Wait it's true? Jared!" Oh man he feels so liberated. And finally properly offended. No more embarrassment.

Well, for now. It won't last.

Jared looks up from a nearby cubicle and hurries over. "Yes Richard?"

"He has a kid."

"Oh, congratulations!" Jared smiles and Richard elbows him. "Oh, right." Jared tries to look angry with some success, well as much anger as Jared can manage on any given day, which isn't much. Except what little anger he does manage is lost because no one is intimidating with a kangaroo pouch attached to their chest. Especially when the baby is cooing.

"If either of you are strict traditionalist with backwards values I'm also married."

Richard feels so betrayed. His frown is back full force. (He does not look like a Muppet despite what his parents and his friends and probably anyone that sees him angry think.) Honestly what kind of person doesn't say something like this? "When did this-"

"Before you two went through with your whole," he gestures vaguely to the both of them, "pseudo-nuptials."

"You got married four years ago?"

"Seems like it. How do you think I knew about the tax breaks?"

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Mostly Pied Piper. Or, you know, his friends? Richard bites his lip. "We would've-"

"Save it. You two did the exact same thing."

Okay well he's not wrong.

"What is your child's name?" Oh right kids have names. Thank god Jard's on the ball today.

"Wednesday."

"Ugh Gilfoyle what the fuck?" Richard closes his eyes and his face scrunches up in confusion. Because he said Wednesday. The day of the week. That creepy little girl from the Addams family. Oh god.

"We call her Nes."

Richard looks at Jared; he's looking as conflicted as Richard feels. His eyebrows are all scrunched up and his eyes are wide and cute.

Focus.

"That's the only syllable that isn't pronounced!"

"Your point?"

"Richard, perhaps her middle names are more... traditional."

Well one of them has to be polite. Maybe. "Right yeah, Gilfoyle?"

"Anton Bastille."

Richard looks over at Jared, horrified and mouth open, and Jared looking like he someone jump off a bridge. "Why!?"

“Not everyone conforms to your naming conventions, Marie.”

“She came with that name! That sounds really bad.” Richard puts his face in his hands. Well it's not the worst thing he's ever said to a child. Oh god that's not the worst thing he's ever said to a child.

“Wednesday Anton Bastille Gilfoyle.” Jared recites and Richard sees Gilfoyle nod through his fingers. “Oh, we could have play dates!”

“Not a chance in hell.”

-

They're sitting at the park. Richard presses his lips together tighter every time Nes squeals. She's a very enthusiastic two year old.

She's very bubbly and energetic, definitely traits from Tara. And even though she's dressed like those creepy porcelain dolls from horror movies Richard has to admit she's pretty cute. And Gilfoyle's just lying on the grass and letting her climb on top of him. More than once he's watched Nes sprinkle handfuls of grass in his beard and zero fucks are being given about all the dirt she's getting all over herself.

How is Gilfoyle so relaxed the outdoors are so overwhelming. Marie could get hurt or kidnapped or run over if they're not careful and why didn't they stay inside?

But that's stupid. She's not even a year old. And Jared and she are sitting on a large picnic blanket. She's safe. She's fine.

But what if she's allergic to bees?

What if she gets stung? Then she'll cry and Jared will feel guilty (He'll cry. He'll also cry.) for not protecting her and-

Deep breath. In. Out.

“Richard,” Tara hands him a bottle of water. Maybe he looks really sweaty? Richard wipes his forehead and grimaces when he can feel the moisture. “Wasn't this a great idea?”

Stressful? Terrifying? Why did he agree to this? “Fine, you know. Nice weather. I thought you had a client?”

“Not until five. But it's okay because I'll definitely get a great tip.” Nes runs up to Tara, presents her with what looks like a cicada, and runs back to Gilfoyle laughing. “Gilfoyle!” It buzzes away and Gilfoyle is snickering while he high fives Nes. “She put a spider on my hand the other day.”

Richard could not look more terrified of a toddler if he tried.

“It's not that big a deal, we have tarantulas. I'm sure Marie will start bringing you bugs when she's two.”

He lied.

But watching her quietly play while Jared slowly droops forward (He's probably going to fall asleep.) makes him think she won't give him bugs. Shes playing with a stuffed animal and gnaws on her teether and it's all very quiet and polite and they're definitely lucky because the amount of energy Nes has is terrifying.

“Hey Tara, Richard.”

“Dinesh?” Did he follow them? Is Gilfoyle going to fillet Richard in front of Jared? Will he at least have Tara cover up the kids' eyes?

Tara's smiling? “Did you get my message?”

“Got the bag.” He's handing Tara a black messenger bag. Why is Tara not surprised he's here? Richard looks over at Gilfoyle, but he's still lying in the grass and lazily helping Nes climb on his stomach.

“Thank you so much. Her extra outfit is in here.”

Nes comes running over shrieking “Nesh!” at top volume. Dinesh scoops her up and she squeals. “Hi there Nes.”

“You know about her?”

“Hard to miss something like this in your own home.” Richard's eyebrows go up but Dinesh doesn't say anything. He's walking towards Gilfoyle to drop Nes on his stomach. They starts bickering and Richard turns to Tara. She shrugs.

So they're living together? Okay, sure why not? He has more important things to consider right now, like how asleep Jared looks despite still being upright. Richard walks over to Jared and taps him on the shoulder after sitting down. Jared jumps and rubs his eyes. “I'm sorry Richard. I shouldn't be sleeping when watching over an infant.”

“It's fine, here,” Richard pats his leg but Jared hesitates.

“You're sure? I don't have to nap. If you want you could lie down instead?”

“Jared I'm fine.” And he knows Jared turned off the baby monitor so Richard could sleep while he was up with Marie. Teething has been kind of a bitch to deal with. “You're the one that didn't sleep.” And Jared's wearing his blue vest today because of it. “I'll wake you up in a half hour.”

He actually plans to let Jared sleep longer but that's his secret. As Jared lies down Marie crawls over and snuggles up to Jared. And even though Richard hates pictures he motions Tara over to take one because this is too adorable to let his minor aversions get in the way.

-

He's sure someone somewhere is going to be critical of the overly clinical way he documents Mare's milestones, but damn it he's being thorough. It's Jared's area of expertise to make a cute scrapbook. Richard's more of an analytical note taker. But between the two of them they never miss a moment.

Jared's been making a scrapbook for Marie's mother.

She's in the hospital, but getting better, better enough for quick visits. He hates it.

No, that's not true, he's happy for the two of them, but the better she gets the higher the chance that Marie will start living with her again. They don't really talk about it much, aside from a few late night moments that leave the two of them more than a little upset, but for now Marie has started walking so they have plenty of happier (And more entertaining.) things to focus on. It's not like they didn't know this was a possibility, and really it's a good thing.

But damn it he loved the stupidly domestic way his life was playing out.

-

She's a very nice woman.

Richard does most of the talking because Jared is at vest levels of upset and barely slept last night. And he still barely manages more than a few words.

She insists that she's grateful, that they're probably the best family Marie could have been placed with, that she is definitely going to try to keep them involved in her life because she stayed with them for almost two years. Hell she can say both of their names, sort of.

Rich and Jer.

Richard tries to be reassuring while Jared drives them home. Marie's mother is a wonderful woman, she's recovered from her illness completely, and isn't this the point of foster care? Helping a child so they can find their forever home? Or in this case return to one they already had.

Isn't this what Jared always wanted?

-

Richard tries to not be disappointed when they don't hear anything.

"So nothing," Carla has her feet on his desk but Richard is too bummed out right now to care. "Well you had to kind of expect that."

"I did, Jared didn't." More than once he's seen Jared with the scrapbook he made, looking at old photos until his eyes are shining and wet. They didn't even get out of the car after dropping her off before Jared started sobbing. It took Richard ten minutes to get him to at least get out of the car.

He told Richard it was like an out of body experience, watching someone go back to their family. Happy-sad was the only explanation he could manage at the time. Richard understands. Well, he can at least hazard a guess until Jared's ready to explain.

Within a week Richard had their paperwork ready to do foster-to-adopt. He doesn't think either of them could handle this again.

They have a meeting today, and hopefully a placement within a year.

"Maybe Tara would rent out, she's already had two." Robinson is nearly one, and Richard is certain the name, and actual parentage, is Dinesh's doing. "Good luck convincing her she wants to be pregnant again though."

He thought about surrogates briefly, but shoved the idea aside. "Fostering is important to Jared." Carla nods. "And it's not like I regret it. It just..."

 

"Sucks?"

"Not what I was going to say," he stacks some papers and slots them away in his 'to do' box. He's not getting anything done today. "But yeah, it sucks. But it also doesn't, you know?"

"Yeah sure. Say I gotta cut out early Monica's folks're in town."

"Sound like fun." He's really thankful his parents don't live closer than Oklahoma. He knows Jared loves them, and honestly they aren't bad he just wants to actually be treated like he's thirty and not ten. Maybe he can convince them to channel all that energy on a grandchild.

"Oh yeah," Carla is shaking her head as she slings her bag over one shoulder. "You know, I never said it, but you and OJ do pretty decent at the whole parent thing."

"Thanks." He smiles. "You know you two wouldn't be bad either. You could-"

"Not happening."


End file.
